Oh January, will we ever be friends?
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Wait, wrong January. But she also sucks.
I mean this January:
I’m gonna come right out and say it: I hate January. I know, it’s such a cliché. It’s like hating Justin Bieber or queueing; is there really an alternative?
In January, I just can’t. Can’t what, you might ask. Well, can’t anything.
Over the festive period, I went into a sort of hibernation. Okay, a literal hibernation. I actually slept for five days straight.
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You and me both, brother bear.
I went back to work on Monday, which went something like this:
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I did do *some* teaching…
The worst part is, I’m doing all the right things.
I’m going to bed early and getting up early. I’m eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. I’m taking vitamins and keeping hydrated.
I’m exercising. But January hates me. It will not let me function. On Tuesday, I was half way to school when I noticed that I was still wearing my slippers. I had to turn back and change (I was seriously considering not changing, I doubt anyone would have noticed) and then I was almost late. Yesterday, I spelled the word ‘review’ r-i-v-e-w. Today, I drove about a quarter of a mile with the boot open. All in all, I’m probably a danger to myself and to society.
Oh January, please go away.
Can you January?
Psst! Remember that you can nominate my blog for “Most Humorous Weblog” in the 2015 Bloggies by clicking here. You don’t have to, especially if you don’t think I’m funny. Well, this is awkward. If you do happen to nominate me, then I want to brush your hair and sing to you. Unless you find that creepy, so maybe I’ll just say thanks? Thanks.
CUPID OR CATS 
I’m a cat and I can’t stand January Jones. The month, however, doesn’t bother me so. Oh, and I nominated you! Very much enjoy your blog!
I don’t know anyone who actually likes her.
Thank you so much 🙂 I’ll send you some kibble…wait, you’re worth more than that. You’re getting Fancy Feast.
Well, I would have said I was Ok with January, but then this morning I wanted to take Puppy Cody out for her business, and immediately stepped into 2 feet of freshly fallen snow. At 15 degress Fahrenheit. And wind blowing. And Puppy took an extra long time because she’s a scent oriented dog and simply could not find her usual spot under all that snow. And then when she tried to do her business, the snow was right up to her butt. (Imagine a freezing toilet seat times 10. Poor Puppy).
So no, I can’t January, either.
Okay, you have a much more valid reason for not being able to January. It only gets to about 5 degrees (celsius over here) and I can’t handle it. We never really get snow. I don’t know how you guys deal with it. Poor Cody 😦
Actually once Cody managed to resolve her “issues” she had a lot of fun jumping through and around the snow drifts, and burrowing into them to look for bunny “treats.”
Aw that’s so cute! Go Cody!
I heard that the January Jones grew up in the same town I did. She does suck for sure, but I think I might have a reason why she has no expressions. Cause she’s from my hometown which sucks. And also, I have no expressions or inflections in my voice so maybe it’s the place.
I bet you would have made a much better Betty Draper than her. You missed your calling really.
Your hometown can’t be as bad as mine. We had one shop where the shopkeeper hadn’t heard of mayonnaise. But you guys had January Jones, which is probably worse.
January is bleak and unforgiving. It’s been nearly arctic where I live and I am not a fan of cold, harsh weather! When will the voting end for the bloggies? Can I vote for you again?
Compared to the weather you guys get, it’s been pretty mild here so I should stop complaining.
Aw thanks Rob but you can only vote once. If you vote more than that, your original vote is invalid. But thanks for the original vote 🙂
I voted for you!
Thanks, Janey. 😀 Do I get a pet owl if I win? Or a cat? I really want a spider monkey. I originally wanted a howler monkey, but they talk trash all day long. Owls are good.
Haha, you sound exactly like me every day of the week! I LOVE spider monkeys 😀 An owl would be amazing. If you do win, I’ll try and kidnap one just for you!
That would be fantastic. I could definitely party with an owl. 😀
It would be a hoot. *smugly smiles at own comedic genius*
hahahaha! Yes it would! *shakes head in agreement over Janey’s comedic genius*.
Hey, I’ve got questions about the Weblog awards. Is that for everyone or just for the people in Ireland? How do you get nominated, etc? Can I try to get nominated?
It’s for everyone! You should totally sign up.
Basically, go to the address in my post. You can nominate yourself for as many categories that you feel are relevant. And others can nominate you. You have to nominate at least three blogs in whatever category you choose. I shall nominate you!
Is there a category for bitterness? If there is, I think I got this! But, I really appreciate it. I will nominate you (or vote or however it works a little later) when I’m not so busy pretending to look busy today.
There should be! Thank you bitter much 🙂
You are funny.
I like it 😛
Why thank you 🙂 You just became one of my favourites.
I have mixed emotions about January. Or any winter month, actually.
I don’t like cold weather. Work is a nightmare when it snows. There isn’t enough daylight. It’s cold.
But at the same time, Christmas and New Year’s fall in winter, and February is a really short month, at least three quarters of the time. Plus January is the time everyone emphasizes fresh starts, and if anyone can appreciate a do-over, it’s this girl.
If I could simply put January in the middle of the summer? Then I think it would be more bearable. However, we should really sit down and discuss March. THERE is your psycho-month…
It’s the darkness that’s driving me crazy. I get home from work and it’s so dark.
I can’t go for my walks. I do still walk, but it’s just not the same dammit.
You are right though. I don’t mind Feb.
I get a week off work, it’s Jack’s birthday and there’s Valentine’s Day 🙂
Oh I also hate March. It’s like the Tuesday of Months and I really hate Tuesdays.
February 14 is that which shall not be named at our house, so that is another strike against a winter month.
March tries to be good, but it’s bi-polar. It doesn’t know if it wants to be spring or winter.
March over here tends to be pretty mild. We have the most boring weather ever.
I agree. January sucks! *remains under her rock*
Boo January…just boo!
Who could possibly hate Justin Bieber? That’s like hating the sun or the air or life itself.
I don’t hate anyone. Except him. With every fibre of my being.
Forgive her Justin, she knows not what she says. Open her heart so that one day she too will Belieb.
This did make me chuckle, so there’s that.
Hmm. Sounds like January treats you like July treats me. Whenever I start to think I might want to complain about the cold I just remember how much better it is than being too hot and I’m good to go. 🙂
That is very true! I loathe the heat; my pasty Irish skin can’t take it 🙂 I’m just a big complainer really. Let’s hope July isn’t too hot eh?
*laughs* I know! It’s a bear of a month. I think it has to do with the darkness. I’d like to wake up to sun, I think. (Had to fill up my tires while out on the road yesterday. I think my fingers fell off.)
It definitely has a lot to do with the darkness. The spring and summer will be very welcome. Your poor fingers. They do come in handy…see what I did there??!
No, I missed it. Must be my dullishness. What did you do? *very excited*
I attempted to make a joke. And failed.
Oh, I get it! *laughs lots* That actually was really almost well done.
One January, I went to work and forgot my bra. I had to ask the man I was commuting with to drop me off at the dollar store. He didn’t know why but, okay. I bought the cheapest bra I could find, but I certainly wasn’t going to change in a bathroom I suspected carried more than a few venereal diseases.
Since it was only about 1/4 of a mile to the office I’d told him I’d walk there after buying what I needed. Funny thing is, no one noticed the lack of bra when I walked through the door or walked to the office. 🙂
I think January numbs our brain cells.
Hahaha, this made me laugh out loud…definitely with you, not at you 🙂 Cursed bras, they drive me crazy.
I’d go to work without one, but who wants to witness that kind of horror. 🙂
I would too, damn societal expectations!
I nominated your blog. I am down with an owl, cat, or spider monkey-no January Jones or Bieber, please.
You. Are. Amaaaazing! January Jones and Beebs would make a great couple 😀
You always make me laugh!
Aw thanks Michelle! Sorry for the lateness of my reply, crazy busy!
I’ll just be over here laughing at you from South Cali, where it is 60-70 degrees Fahrenheit– About 15-20 degrees Celsius, I think?– and sunny. It’s supposed to be 80 degrees on Tuesday. I love warm weather. Cool weather is good too. Cold weather is awful and should be made illegal.
Justin Bieber used to be a good kid. I like some of his music. But then the fame went to his head or something, and now he’s just pointlessly jerk-y. He disgusts me.
http://kamrynthewanderer.wordpress.com
I’m ridiculously jealous. It’s hardly ever sunny here and it rains all the time. No wonder we drink away our sorrows. And we’re super pale too.
Ah, the Beebs. He could’ve been somebody. Now he’s just a pointless idiotic brat. Thanks for commenting! Enjoy the sunshine 🙂