Five Ways To Find Your Inner Child

Do you ever just not want to be an adult? Do you ever just want to let your inner child run riot in an explosion of macaroni, crayons and bad decisions?

I have to say that I adult pretty hard on a daily basis. I work hard, I’m allowed to play with scissors and I even pay taxes. Except on the wages in my off shore account, but that’s for another post.* There are times, however, when I yearn for the simplicity of my childhood years; for the times when my only worry was how my friend was definitely shafting me in our Pokemon card exchanges. If you too miss the carefree fun of your childhood, here are some ways to let your inner child out for an irresponsible time:

1. Make prank phone calls

There is nothing quite as exhilarating as asking some stranger over the phone whether their refrigerator is running. Some would say “that’s immature” and to those people, I say “is your refrigerator running?” 😀

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2. Colour

Let’s face it, no one ever grows out of colouring. It’s the third most fun thing you can do with your hands (the first being eating pizza, the second being a tie between juggling and mime artistry).

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3. Give the worst comeback in an argument…EVER

The best thing about being a child? Being exempt from mature debate because, well, you’re a kid. When someone is clearly gaining the upper hand in an argument, you don’t have to actually respond with anything remotely sensical. Say something like: “why don’t you go high-five a unicorn?” Argument: won.

4. Eat so much junk food you almost throw up

Remember when you got to go to a friend’s house for a birthday party and Mammy wasn’t there to say “stop stuffing your face with ice cream sandwiches and bacon” so you just went wild on an orgy of sugar and bite sized snacks? You officially did not have a childhood if you didn’t throw up from overeating at least once. Perhaps on a slide. While wearing your favourite Kylie Minogue top. I’ll stop now. So what are you waiting for? Break out the raw cookie dough and marshmallows.

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5. Play a game

I actually play games with my friends all the time (physical games, not mind games, puhlease). Once a friend of mine called to my house unexpectedly. When I answered the door, I was breathless. My friend asked what Jack and I had been up to, winking at me in the process. My answer? “We’ve just had a killer game of Hide and Seek.” I’m not allowed play board games though, ’cause I’m a little bit of a sore loser. They may have been an incident with a monopoly piece and Jack’s nose. Ahem.

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*The author would like to clarify that this was a poor attempt at humour and wishes to reassure any members of the revenue commission who may have been lured to this blog by promises of free owl pictures that the author pays her taxes and does not actually have an offshore account. She doesn’t even know where the Cayman Islands are.