I’m baaaaack

Hello my lovelies, remember me? Okay, probably not…but I brought biscuits, which I will now eat all by myself.

So… where do I even start? I guess my life changed so much, and in all of the chaos, I lost myself a little bit. My engagement fell apart (I’ve only mentioned it a thousand times) and I got a new job so I just felt a little overwhelmed.

It’s been two years since my relationship broke up. I have zero contact with my ex, which is probably for the best. I suffered a long of PTSD, where the months and months of gaslighting and lies kind of caught up to me and I realised I could never be friends with someone who abused me so much. It’s not like he even really cared when I cut contact. In fact, I think now it’s what he wanted all along. It’s just sad that he’s a stranger to me now but c’est la vie.

Dating was amazing in the beginning. I met so many interesting men and had some wonderful experiences. Some of them are still my friends. But it got repetitive. I found I was never really fully on the same page as most guys. It was either ‘I’m not looking for anything at all’ or ‘I want a wife and kids’. I am very much the ‘I’m not exactly looking but I’ll see how it goes’ type. I don’t rule anything out because you just don’t know, do you?

I’m seeing someone now, but I am taking it in absolute baby steps and not labelling it or even discussing it. It’s a totally non-traditional thing, because I guess the ‘normal’ way didn’t really work out for me and I have all kinds of trust and commitment issues. Luckily, I’ve met a guy who is very patient, very kind and very, very hot. I’m going to brag about that because I can. And so much fun. He makes me stupidly happy and even if it’s not the most traditional of relationships, it really really works for us. Last night, I slept completely wrapped up in him and feeling safer and happier than I have in years.

And my job… well, my job is amazing! I’m still teaching and loving it. I still live where I live with my beautiful pets. I’ve tried so many new experiences over the last two years and have really begun to understand who I actually am outside of a relationship. I genuinely have never felt so happy and fulfilled. But I want to get back to blogging. It made me genuinely very zen and I enjoyed it so much so we’ll see. I guess my commitment issues extend to this now too 🙈

So, whoever you are, I want to hear about you. Come talk to me while I finish these chocolate chip cookies.

10 thoughts on “I’m baaaaack

  1. paws2smile says:

    I’m sorry you had a bad relationship but am glad you got away. I too have dated someone emotional abusive and know all about gaslighting. That’s great that things are going fabulous for you now! 🙂

  2. dweezer19 says:

    I’m so very happy for you Janey! I’ve missed you. I have a new blog space on Blogger but you can find the link on my old blog. Stay happy sweetie! You deserve it. 😊

  3. Sophiemagsblog says:

    So happy to hear your doing well, it’s always hard cutting someone out of your life no matter how bad or good they were to you, especially if said person was a big part but its always worth it in the end for growth! Keep smiling 🙂 xx

  4. Trent Lewin says:

    Janey, I think seeing that your back to the blogging world is wonderful, and I’ll for sure be watching out for your posts. But hearing that life is good and heading in a positive direction is even better. And who doesn’t want a hot man in their lives, I ask???

  5. Redefined Timeline says:

    Love it… completely open. And I can definitely relate… I’m divorced, and now (shockingly) remarried. Divorce is something to be celebrated (I wanted a cake)!!! Because… let’s face it… the first one is practice. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

  6. Chelly says:

    Hiya! Just checking in to see if you’re ok during this quarantine, hope the lockdown isn’t making you feel lonely and isolated or think about people you don’t want to think about, and hope you’re feeling more productive than I am these days 😅 don’t know what made me think of you but I guess this is a time for nostalgia. 😄 You probably don’t remember me, I’m just a random fan of your blog lol, but there was a time your posts were the only thing that brightened up my week! 😊 I am also super bored right now and hoping you’ll brighten up my week some time again with a funny post 😁

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s