Your twenties are a time of great transition and growth. LOL, not really, they’re a time for doubts, uncertainty and bad decisions. And wine, lots of wine. When I was a teenager, I envisioned myself living in a swanky apartment with my best friend, drinking copious amounts of posh coffee and getting involved in all kinds of hilarious hijinks. Okay, I watched a lot of Friends.
Been there, Joey.
My twenties haven’t exactly turned out the way I imagined they would, but I have learned a lot. And because I’m so generous and learned and stuff, I will share my observations with you:
1. Supporting yourself is not as liberating as it sounds
Moving out of your childhood home and into the big bad world is one of the most daunting, yet exhilarating experiences you can have. While you get used to being able to drink milk out of the carton naked (I mean, nothing), there are lots of grownup problems that get in the way. You know electricity? It’s not free. And food? Yeah, it doesn’t magically appear in the fridge. And don’t even get me started on the intricacies of a washing machine.
2. You will probably not marry Johnny Depp
Or, you know, anyone. But you might get lots of cats and everyone loves cats, right?
For every year Jack doesn’t propose, I get a cat. Clock’s ticking Jack.
3. You also won’t work for NASA
Unless you actually work for NASA. In which case, go you! (she said, begrudgingly.)
When we’re young, we imagine ourselves having the most amazing job: Gibbon-handler,
Squirrel nut-cracker, poet laureate… And then we end up with the most tedious nine to five job imaginable. At least Dolly Parton gets us.
4. You won’t sit around in a cafe all day drinking coffee with your friends
Because your job thingy kinda gets in the way of that. Darn.
5. You will still laugh at immature jokes
I still write ‘BOOBS’ anytime I get near a calculator. And don’t get me started on the word ‘titillating’. *giggle*
6. It’s still okay to have no idea what you’re doing
Like this guy:
7. Your parents will still see you as a child
My mother rang me from three hundred kilometres away today to ask me if I had my “good anorak” because the temperature dropped below ten degrees Celsius. She was afraid I would get “the pneumonia”. Bless.
8. Even though you may have attended years of college, no one is going to just hand you a job
I learned this the hard way. Eventually, I just wore a sandwich board saying “will drop pants for job” and hey presto, I’m a teacher.*
9. You may feel like an adult imposter
I don’t know how the rest of you who are in your twenties feel, but I’m often struck by feelings of inadequacy, doubt and self-consciousness. I assumed by now I would have a lot more confidence in myself, but I still harbour all those fears and apprehensions that I had when I was a teenager. I’m just waiting for some kind of police force to burst through my door and shout “she’s an imposter! She’s not a real adult” and throw me in some kind of hole.
10. Even nearing the age of thirty, you won’t have it all figured out
I’m still waiting to feel grown up and settled. I wonder when I’ll get married and have kids.
I wonder when I’ll stop laughing at people falling over. I wonder when I’ll stop getting scared after watching The Shining or when a spider decides to take up residence under my bed. At the moment though, I’m happy that I’ve managed to retain at least some of my childlike innocence. I’m also glad that thinking about the future still excites and terrifies me. And someday, somehow, I will figure out how to use my washing machine properly.
This post was partly inspired by the wonderful Amanda Lyle over at Inside the Life of Moi. Her hilarious and perceptive post about ageing had me literally laughing out loud as I read it. Check it/her out.
Why not tell me about what you learned in your twenties?
*This happened in imagination land, just so we’re clear.