My Worst and Best Father’s Day Gifts

It’s the day before Father’s Day. I’m standing in the kind of shop that the cast of Jersey Shore probably buy their makeup in (you know, nothing costs more than two bucks) and I’m starting to panic. In one hand, I’m holding a plastic pipe that looks like a prop for a sixth grade production of Sherlock Holmes. In my other hand, I’m holding a pair of child’s scissors because nothing says “Happy Father’s Day Dad” like a plastic pipe and a pair of scissors.

This is not the first time I have been in this position. Almost every year, I find myself in crisis mode in some random store, surrounded by cheap binoculars, second hand pen knives and fishing nets. And every year I find myself buying my father a present so craptacular that by now he must be questioning whether I’m just being really, really mean.
Let’s have a run through of the worst, shall we?

1996

A mixed tape

Basically, I put Bruce Springsteen songs on a tape. Or what I thought was Bruce Spingsteen. It was Donny Osmond. I was nine. Shut up.

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The resemblance is uncanny

1997

A packet of tobacco

Because nothing says “I love you Dad” like a packet of lung polluting tabaccy from your ten year old daughter. Different times people, different times.

1998

A bamboo stick

I found what I thought was the coolest present ever.
I mean can you believe that someone just let a perfectly good bamboo stick lying around?

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Majestic

1999

A trout

Yes, you read that right. I caught a trout, put it in a bowl and gave it to my dad. I called him Jammy. I don’t know if dad was freaked out, or proud.

And here are some of the best gifts I have given him:

A Shark DVD

Because sharks.

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A bowler hat

For his Charlie Chaplin impressions.

Boxing gloves

And I got myself a pair too. Don’t mess with me, I got mad skills.

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Some people say that Rocky is based on my life. Some people would be me.

A tattoo

This is going to sound quite cheesy but
I am very proud of my ancestry and my family name. I wanted to keep my heritage with me for a long time so I decided to get a tattoo of our family motto on my wrist.
I wanted to show dad that some day my last name may change, but his name will be with me forever. I’m just that selfless. And badass.

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So what about you? What gifts have you given for Father’s Day over the years?

In case you guys are wondering about my inspiration for this post, it came from the people over at Dollar Shave Club who are asking bloggers to write about their experience in giving or receiving Father’s Day gifts. I loved the idea and their viral video too so I was only too happy to participate 🙂

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21 thoughts on “My Worst and Best Father’s Day Gifts

  1. deepbluesandseafoamgreens says:

    In my family, the dude’s always been into cufflinks and ties!!! Ah, it’s difficult, you know. Plodding around the (rainy) town centre…scuttling around Debenhams…and all those bloke shops – smells if aftershave, mostly. But then, some of them have some really funky ties, so it’s cool!

      • deepbluesandseafoamgreens says:

        Thank you – and ah! My dad no likey novelty. The closest to that is this one with helicopters on them (it’s cough cough HIDEOUS cough cough GORGEOUS YEAH I SAID THAT)

        Cough.

      • janeybgood says:

        Men love helicopters. I mean, they’re alright, I’m just not that excited about them. I could take them or leave them. But men ADORE helicopters. The next best thing to owning one? A tie with pictures of helicopters 🙂

      • deepbluesandseafoamgreens says:

        I’m so tempted to just write one word.

        Men.

        But that would be mean of me…Hehehehehehehehhehhehhehhehehehe

        DUDES. THEY’RE COOL!
        I’ve redeemed myself.

      • deepbluesandseafoamgreens says:

        😀 😀
        Any dude reading this: WE LOVE YOU

        AND YOU LOVE US REALLY!

        Seriously though. Men. Women. Cat. WE ARE ALL AMAZIN. (Btw is it just me or could you like, put zinger burger onto the end of amazing? Like: AMA-ZINGER-BURGER!!!)
        😀

      • janeybgood says:

        I had never noticed that and now I am totally mind blown. Also Jack just asked me why did I say ama-zinger-burger aloud. I didn’t know I had. GAH NEW WORD!! 😀

      • deepbluesandseafoamgreens says:

        AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jack: YO DUDE! WAZZUP?
        And as for you Jane….I SHALL REPEAT THIS WITH A BLOG POST SOON! *linking back to the amazing Jane of course!*

  2. Running Betty says:

    Hahaha! Can’t stop laughing at the Donnie Osmond mix tape! Maybe your dad just thinks you have a great sense of humor (I sure do) and loves his gifts! I am unoriginal and get my dad sears gift cards to buy tools for fathers day….and every other holiday!

    • janeybgood says:

      Ah, gift cards, could there be anything more useful?? Haha! My dad usually greatly fears special occasions. He said the other day “as long as it’s not alive” and now I have lots of ideas 😀
      Thanks for commenting!

    • janeybgood says:

      I would love to bring one on night’s out with me for all the creeps. It would be one way of getting rid of them!

      I think Dad is used to my “quirks” by now 🙂 At least, I hope he is…

  3. Wordifull Melanie says:

    Wow…quite a…variety! LOL

    So what will you do this year? How about something made of homemade playdough? LOL

    Or on a serious note. What about a photo album filled with pictures of you at various ages and handwritten letters about different experiences and memories you have/ had with him??

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