So it turns out me being an atheist didn’t offend you guys. Well, maybe it offended some of you, but you decided to stay quiet and possibly fashion some kind of Jane voodoo doll that you are continuously poking with sewing needles. Ouch. Stop it.
Anyway, since my dear readers are clearly not easily offended, I’m going to tell a joke and hopefully that will have the desired effect. Why am I trying to offend you? Because I was expecting a crazy backlash and I had prepared some of my greatest comebacks like “your face though” and “I know you are, but what am I?” and you guys had to spoil it all by being totally amazingly open minded and brilliant. So, eat this:
(You say “who’s there?”)
No one. No one likes you.
Ouch. Okay, okay I’m sorry. That was a bad, bad joke. And it’s also not true because I like you. I like you because you’ve read this and you made me feel all gooey inside by being kind to me (although it could be the questionable chicken I just ate).
So, to make the bad joke up to you, I’ll change it:
Everyone. Everyone likes you.
There, fixed it.