10 Reasons Why Being The Youngest Sucks

I’m sure there are plenty of eldest and middle children out there who will lament their position in their familial hierarchy but I refuse to accept that anyone has it as tough as the misfortunate being who will forever be known as ‘the baby’, AKA: The Youngest.
Here are ten reasons why being the youngest sucks:

1. You may have been an accident

My siblings informed me constantly that I was unplanned, unlike themselves, whom Mammy and Daddy were only too happy to welcome into the world. When I got to the age of sixteen, I jokingly asked my mother if I had been planned (of course, I had expected her to lovingly reassure me that yes, of course I had been) only for her to reply with a sentence that still haunts my nightmares:

‘Oh good God no!’

Before you put my mother into the same league as the following:

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rest assured, she’s magnificent.

2. The lies that were fed to you by your siblings

I’ve already written a post on the constant fallacies thrust upon my naive and unsuspecting mind, but the best (or worst, depending on whether you’re sympathising with me or laughing at me) included the tale that I had been adopted from hardened criminals. As this tale became more sophisticated, the hardened criminals became Somalian Pirates and then evolved into a religious cult.

3. You were always ‘piggy’ in Piggy and the Middle

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4. You were the target of your siblings’ arbitrary rules

“You know Jane, if anyone under the age of eight eats chocolate, THEY EXPLODE.”

“Of course you’ve to sit in the middle on car trips, you’re the youngest.”

“The youngest automatically gets less toys kid. Sorry, them’s the rules.”

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5. You were sent to bed when cool stuff came on television

My brother loved wrestling, and so did I. The difference is that he was actually allowed to watch all of it when I was bungled off to bed the minute this guy came on:

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To be fair, he is terrifying.

6. By the time you became a teenager, your parents were savvy to the wily ways of an adolescent

“Hey Mam, I’m just going to stay at Mary’s.”

“Yes, but you’re also going to change out of the clothes you’re currently wearing into something more revealing, sneak out of Mary’s to that party at the house of that boy you like and drink beer. Or at least you think you are.”

“DAMMIT!”

7. Your achievements meant less because your older siblings beat you to the punch

This was my mother when my brother graduated:

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When I graduated:

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Not a single tear was shed that day:

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8. Your siblings eventually became protective

You might think that this must have felt nice. Maybe it was, except that when I got a boyfriend, they turned into this:

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9. Being a victim of your siblings’ cruel games

“Hey Jane, go fetch me a drink. I’ll time you.”

“Hey Jane, I bet you can’t clean my room in less than an hour.”

“Hey Jane, take a bite out of this to see if it’s cooked.”

“Hey Jane, let’s play hide and seek. You go hide, I’ll come find you.”
(They never came to find me.)

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10. Being constantly spoken down to because you’re the youngest

“Did you hear about the bomb blast in Kabul? *turns to me* that’s in Afghanistan, Jane.”

“Did you see they’re making a movie about Freddie Mercury? *turns to me* He was in a band called Queen Jane, before you were born.

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14 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why Being The Youngest Sucks

      • Ana Lynn Amelio says:

        My two older boys decided to feed their baby sister one morning when she was 2 years old. They threw a bottle on her so she actually wound up with a black eye. When we got out of bed to see why she is crying and we took her out of the crib she literally charged towards them and started smacking them with her little hands. So I kind of know how you feel.

      • janeybgood says:

        I know exactly how that feels!
        When she gets older, there will be a lovely dynamic and closeness. But during the childhood years, it’s always tough. There were times where we did get on of course, but since there was three of us there always seemed to be a divide.

  1. Janie Doh says:

    I’m the oldest, my sister is twelve years younger than me and we never really bonded because I moved out of the house before she even started grade school. I could fill a book with all the reasons she has made being the OLDEST suck and how much I resent her for it.

    • janeybgood says:

      Now that we’ve grown up, my sister would probably say that being the oldest girl was difficult. She hated being the middle child.
      I suppose it does depend on the age proximity. We are close now but we really weren’t growing up.

  2. PurplesShade says:

    This is brilliant. XD
    I think most of the reasons though were because of your particular sibling dynamic.

    I should show it to my youngest brother. There’s a bunch of these he can relate to I’m sure… but I know he had it way easier than you. (On the grounds that we were way nicer to him than your siblings. Yikes!)

    • janeybgood says:

      Thank you!
      Yes we did have a particularly unique dynamic πŸ™‚
      We get on great now but they certainly abused their older sibling privileges haha.
      Thanks for your comment!

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