Just to make you squirm, here are some of the most common awkward situations I think we’ve all experienced:
1. Being in an elevator/lift with a bunch of strangers
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The silence. The close proximity to strangers. The avoidance of eye contact. Awkward level=Woody Allen.
2. Meeting a friend and they run into a friend of theirs that you don’t know
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Do I leave? Why am I just standing here smiling like an idiot? Why haven’t they introduced us yet? Aaaaargh
3. Meeting someone that you haven’t spoken to in years and having nothing to say
“So, erm, that Kanye West is an awful eejit, isn’t he?”
*Interminable silence… A wolf howls*
“Well, nice talkin to ya!”
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4. Someone says “hello” just as you answer “fine”
Oh, the humanity
5. Someone is waving like crazy at you so you awkwardly wave back. You then realise they are actually waving at someone else.
D’oh.
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6. “Do you like *insert obscure band name*?”
“Erm, yeah, they’re great…”
“What’s your favourite song by them?”
“……..”
7. When someone gets your name wrong and you leave it too long to correct them.
It’s not so bad… Ted sounds a lot like Ryan. Ahem.
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8. When a plane lands and people clap. It makes me all kinds of awkwards. Am I alone here?
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9. When someone says something and you haven’t heard them by the fifth time so just pretend to have heard it… and give the totally incorrect reaction
“Whaaaat?”
“I said *says something incoherent”
“Oh, that’s great!”
“It’s great that my cat has piles?!”
10. When someone makes you retell a joke that *they* found hilarious but everyone else just gives you limp, pity laugh
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11. When you go to greet someone and aren’t sure whether to do a handshake, hug or cheek-kiss so you just stand there and give an awkward, stupid wave.
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12. When you’re watching a film with your parents and a sex scene comes on
I’m 26 and still can’t handle this. I fall into a vortex of shame and awkwardness.
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13. When people sing happy birthday to you
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CUPID OR CATS 
Number 4. Oh God, number 4. I always do this. Why? And saying “I’m grand, how are you?” on the phone when they haven’t even asked me how I am. Number 12 reminds me of those nature programs we used to watch as kids with my folks. Nothing says awkward like a giant bull elephant with his giant bull elephant schlong running around and trumpeting before he mounts some poor unsuspecting lady elephant.
Yep I do number four all the time, it’s quite mortifying.
Haha, yeah I know what you mean about nature programs. (Btw, I’m still laughing at “giant bull elephant schlong”)
I remember getting the live show. Me and Mam were coming back from town when our cat was splayed out on the lawn with the neighbour Tom, in a very compromising position. I think a part of my childhood died that day. Although we did get 4 kittens from it.
Shattered innocence! I bet you never looked at your cat in the same way ever again. The brazen hussy.
No, I couldn’t. Even my very gruff, uber-catholic father went to have her ‘fixed’ and we never spoke of it again. She was a bit of a tart though.
#s 1, 3 , 5 & 9 here!
#1 is the worst…I hate elevators to begin with…I’m a bit claustrophobic…then add awkwardness with a stranger…No good.
If I’m in one with Jack (my boyfriend) and strangers, he just can’t take the awkwardness (even if I’m there) and will actually start giggling like a child. Which just makes it more awkward.
Haha! I relate to so many of these. Particularly the sex while watching a movie with your parents thing. I remember basically nothing from “Cold Mountain” except for the fact there’s some super strokey rocking sex scene that lasts for like 25 minutes. Because I was sitting there with my entire family. And I was like 16.
I totally forgot about Cold Mountain… that was just one non stop awkward-fest. My mother, being a Michael Fassbender fan (based solely on the fact that he’s also Irish) wanted to go to see ‘Shame’ when it came out. Needless to say, she hasn’t seen any trailers. I told her that I didn’t think it’d be her cup of tea haha
Haha I’m not sure what “Shame” is but it certainly sounds smutty!!!
Oh Aussa, it’s the smuttiest.
The staying at home to avoid problems works almost all the time. Except when people call you or come over to your house when you clearly didn’t want them to call or stop by.
Very true. If I’m feeling particularly antisocial I don’t answer the door. They’ll eventually go away.
I try to do that but my son likes to answer the door. Perhaps I should get a cat that is just as anti-social as me.
Yeah my cat is a total sociopath. It’s wonderful. A charity worker called just before Christmas and she actually hissed in his face.
Maybe I need to get a really loud dog get scare away neighborhood kids.
I have two of those. Except one is the size of a large rat so I don’t think he’s very intimidating.
They only need to be scary enough to scare neighbor kids.
I might get them clown masks. Terrifying.
The would be most bittering.