Just to make you squirm, here are some of the most common awkward situations I think we’ve all experienced:
1. Being in an elevator/lift with a bunch of strangers
The silence. The close proximity to strangers. The avoidance of eye contact. Awkward level=Woody Allen.
2. Meeting a friend and they run into a friend of theirs that you don’t know
Do I leave? Why am I just standing here smiling like an idiot? Why haven’t they introduced us yet? Aaaaargh
3. Meeting someone that you haven’t spoken to in years and having nothing to say
“So, erm, that Kanye West is an awful eejit, isn’t he?”
*Interminable silence… A wolf howls*
“Well, nice talkin to ya!”
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4. Someone says “hello” just as you answer “fine”
Oh, the humanity
5. Someone is waving like crazy at you so you awkwardly wave back. You then realise they are actually waving at someone else.
6. “Do you like *insert obscure band name*?”
“Erm, yeah, they’re great…”
“What’s your favourite song by them?”
7. When someone gets your name wrong and you leave it too long to correct them.
It’s not so bad… Ted sounds a lot like Ryan. Ahem.
8. When a plane lands and people clap. It makes me all kinds of awkwards. Am I alone here?
9. When someone says something and you haven’t heard them by the fifth time so just pretend to have heard it… and give the totally incorrect reaction
“I said *says something incoherent”
“Oh, that’s great!”
“It’s great that my cat has piles?!”
10. When someone makes you retell a joke that *they* found hilarious but everyone else just gives you limp, pity laugh
11. When you go to greet someone and aren’t sure whether to do a handshake, hug or cheek-kiss so you just stand there and give an awkward, stupid wave.
12. When you’re watching a film with your parents and a sex scene comes on
I’m 26 and still can’t handle this. I fall into a vortex of shame and awkwardness.
13. When people sing happy birthday to you