WordPress Vs Facebook

I’m not writing this to be like that suck-up in class who tells the teacher her perfume is nice or that she forgot to give homework; I’m just being honest: WordPress is so much better than Facebook.

Of course, they are very different in many ways and perhaps it’s like comparing apples and oranges but I have noticed that I prefer coming on
and creeping on strangers on WordPress than I do on Facebook, so there’s that.

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Picture from onlyhdwallpapers.com

Firstly, I find Facebook irritates me more than it provides me with entertainment (which was your ONE JOB, Zukerberg). As I navigate my way through my newsfeed, I find myself experiencing a mixture of revulsion, impatience, weariness, afore-mentioned irritation, downright anger and general face-palminess (which is a term I just invented, believe it or not. Feel free to add it to the dictionary, people from Oxford’s).

I resign myself to the fact that there are far too many people in my friend’s list whom I have ZERO in common with. I suppose I accept friend requests far too readily; I end up friending people I once met briefly at the hairdressers or took a week of Spanish with once (hola, Raquel). I feel like I can’t unfriend these people because of my serious attachment issues. (Curse you, mother. Joking, I love you mom.) The fact is that I’m just too damn nice. So instead I end up muttering all kinds of smart arsed retorts to their gradually more irritating status updates but not actually doing anything productive about it. Oh, Facebook.

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Picture from tkent.com

Those of you who might be reading this thinking ‘wow, she’s sure being mean about her friends!’, I just want to say one thing: I’m not mean. I’m actually very nice, dammit. But I do have a finite amount of patience. Apparently it ends as ‘1 like=1 prayer’ memes. For every person’s updates I hide, more crop up to pester me.
I’ll give you a run through of the worst offenders:

1. A girl from school who posts up every detail of her personal life so that I now know more about her than her actual mother. Who just got a new dog, FYI. I also know that her ex boyfriend cheated on her but ‘he’s an idiot anyway’ and that his mother ‘better stop getting involved’ in all her problems. I’m thinking of buying her a diary.

2. Another girl I know who constantly posts up memes of sick/dying children. I don’t want to sound insensitive but this is misery porn at its finest. I also know that this girl has never done anything remotely charitable in her life.

3. A guy that I once knew through a friend who is the king of passive-aggressive. His status updates are of the ‘SOME people…’ ilk. Shudder.

4. The selfie-queen whose anatomy I know better than my own. Disturbs me greatly, this does.

5. The girl I knew through a college friend who I haven’t spoken to in six years and who is the most aggressive person I have ever come across on social media. Here’s a taster from the other day:

Sooo sik f ur shit. Ur such a spa n no1 act lyks u neway so I cud car lez wat u tnk

Is that English? Or Klingon? Anyway, I did actually unfriend her because she scares me.

So you guys get where I’m coming from. There are lots more of these irritating fiends: the friend who constantly brags about her fantastic life, the friend who gives Plato a run for his money in the philosophy stakes (she actually once wrote “if the sky is blue, why is my heart so black?”…I’ll give you a moment to compose yourself) and the one whose constant check-ins to different places make me feel all kinds of inadequate.

I know I could just leave Facebook. Well, actually I can’t. It’s like chocolate: I know it’s rubbish. I know it’s bad for me and turns me into the worst version of myself, but man it’s addictive! I also have some brilliant friends far away and *grudgingly* I suppose it’s a good way for me to keep in touch with them. But you’re walking a fine line, Zukerberg.

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Picture from weheartit.com

So that brings me to WordPress. One of the many reasons I decided to join was because of my frustration with Facebook. I wanted a new outlet to express myself and I felt that Stacey, the girl whose wedding I crashed on holidays, probably wouldn’t appreciate my random thoughts and opinions on, well, everything. I also felt that I wanted some level of interaction from like-minded people, which I have found here.

I really do enjoy WordPress. When I’m not writing ridiculously silly blog entries and not being judged by people I will run into in the supermarket, I’m scanning through the reader, heartily laughing at the brilliantly witty and wonderfully unique entries from complete strangers. Gone is scarily aggressive poor speller girl. In her place are funny, intelligent and equally unusual people. I say unusual because ‘weird’ might be insulting, but some of you guys even give me a run for my money in the crazy stakes. Which I love, by the way.

I can be a better version of myself here (I know what you’re thinking: “if this is better, what the hell is worse?” A photo of me falling down a mountain is. Don’t ever say I’m not honest).

I also enjoy all the lovely and frankly, random interactions I’ve had. I like to see peoples’ thoughts and opinions on matters, thoughts and opinions that stretch past commenting ‘LOL’ under everything.

My basic point (it’s taken me a while to get here, but it’s been a nice journey) is that we, us, YEAH YOU, we’re INTERESTING. We’re better than just a few words in a status update or a recycled George Takei meme. I know I’ve even put a few memes up here myself, but give me a break, I can’t be hilarious all the time. Hello? HELLO? Is this thing on?

My friends are questioning my more frequent and prolonged absences from Facebook. They no nothing of my double life here on WordPress. That, dear readers, is our little secret. I feel dirty. Dirty and good.

So, continue being great fellow WordPressers. Don’t make me go bitch about you on my Tumblr.

15 thoughts on “WordPress Vs Facebook

  1. princessfairyzooboo says:

    Hello!
    That was just BRILLIANT!!!! I loved it – one of the best blog posts E-V-E-R!
    Seriously, I laughed so bad at the Facebook list…!🙂

    • janeybgood says:

      I wish I could say I was finished with Facebook, but I always shamefully return. And then get annoyed. And stay off it a few days. And then return. The cycle of shame continues.

  2. harmonioustew says:

    thanks for making me laugh out loud for a change. i hadn’t done that in a long time. i’ve never used facebook, and despite the appeal of being able to get in touch with long-lost old friends, it sounds as if you have to put up with a lot of bullshit in the process. i also have a friend who got weirded out by it (as a long-lost non-friend had tried to get in touch with him through f.b.) so he discontinued his membership, which involved jumping through a daunting number of bureaucratic hoops. sounds menacing. i also concur with your feelings about wordpress, which has been a godsend for me, even though i don’t believe in god. i’m continually impressed by how many bright, talented people there are out there, and i’m both sad and sorry not to be one of them myself. oh well, at least i get to rub virtual elbows with y’all. thanks, by the way, for liking my latest entry.

    • janeybgood says:

      I just wish I hasn’t joined Facebook but alas, it calls to me like a siren! When I come on here, I feel like it balances out all the inane crap I read on Facebook because people here tend to have interesting things to say.
      I loved your piece on Larkin, although I haven’t read him in a very long time. Your writing is great!

  3. dapplegrey says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I have Facebook page but I never go there – it scares me because I find it mystifying and uncontrollable, and I don’t want lots of chatter anyway. WordPress is much more the sort of contact I want, and I’ve discovered so many interesting people out there… yourself included after you left comments for me. Thanks for a great post!

    • janeybgood says:

      Aw shucks, I’m blushing now🙂 You’re right, the engagement I have on here is much better than that on Facebook, and certainly much more genuine and heartfelt, like your comment. Thanks for reading!

  4. Kitt Crescendo says:

    Ha! I think we’ve all been there… Love your descriptions, though, because as I read each description, names started popping into my head. By the way, I found your blog when you were pimped at my place by Based On A True Story Memoir Blog. If you’d like to join my blog share party, just come on over and share a link from a blogger you believe deserves a little attention.🙂

  5. DailyJuniorDogBlog says:

    And One more thing about Facebook….all these people whose pets who have Facebook pages and have their pets talk. …..Geez
    Love,
    Junior, therapy dog
    (Ps I have more FB friends than most my handler and most cats…just sayin)

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