1. I’m just going to go out and get drunk with the guys till you calm down.
2. You shouldn’t sulk. It makes your face look fat.
3. You’re starting to sound like your mother.
4. In my defence, it’s your fault.
5. If you’re mad about this, I’m just glad I haven’t told you about all the other stuff I’ve done.
6. My ex girlfriend never seemed to mind.
7. I am taking this seriously, I promise. I just remembered a really funny scene from Seinfeld.
8. As long as you have absolutely no follow up questions, yes I was listening to everything you said.
9. I’m not saying I don’t see your point of view, I’m saying it’s stupid.
10. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch any of that. I was mentally playing ‘Call of Duty.’