Said no guy, ever

1. Yes, please tell me about your work colleague’s personal problems in as much detail as possible.

2. I got us lost. We need to stop and ask for directions immediately.

3. I lack the tools and expertise to fix your car. You should take it to a mechanic.

4. I really hope you turn out just like your mother.

5. Oh great, The Notebook is on.

6. I don’t want to look at that girl’s breasts. I have a girlfriend.

7. Clearly, those two shades of nail polish are very different. One is ‘Candy Pink’ and the other is ‘Candy Floss Pink.’ You’re lucky I spotted that because these things really matter.

8. I think I should accompany you on your shopping trip.

9. I don’t want to watch the game. I’d prefer to hear about your menstrual cramps instead.

10. I’ve only had two beers but I’m going to stop because I’m drunk. I really cannot handle alcohol and I don’t want to make a fool of myself.

11. That stripper should really put some clothes on or she might catch cold.

12. I can’t eat that, I’m watching my figure.

13. Buy this and get a free sword? No, that’s just silly and impractical. What do I need a sword for?

14. I’m having all the boys around for ‘Sex and the City’ night.

15. I am in no way uncomfortable with being affectionate with my male friends. MAN GROUP HUG!

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