Annoying Love Clichés

Have you ever been broken-hearted or just generally confused about the pain and sorrow that so often accompany love and went to a trusted friend for some sage advice only to have them throw a tired ole cliché at you? It’s not pleasant. Here are some of the worst:

1. There’s plenty more fish in the sea.

What is this? I mean, really. Is this supposed to make someone nursing a broken heart feel better? Yes, there are plenty more fish but there’s a big difference between an Angelfish and a Blob Fish. Just sayin’.

2. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

My mother used to think that all my problems could be solved by singing ‘Que Sera Sera.’
‘Mom, why doesn’t that guy like me?’
‘Que SERA SERAAAAA’.
‘Mom, I got hit in the head with a football.’
‘Que SERA SERAAAAA’.
So really, it doesn’t help. It’s lazy advice.

3. If you love someone, sometimes you have to set them free.

No, that’s birds.

4. Love hurts.

The sky is blue.
Elephants are big.
Miley Cyrus likes to twerk.
You see where I’m going with this.

5. All is fair in love and war.

This is just something a**holes say to try and justify being an a**hole.

6. Love conquers all.

Except herpes.

7. It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

It’s even better to have loved and not lost than to have never loved at all.

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